How To Save Your Marriage From The Brink of Divorce

 

16 Ways To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying & You Feel Helpless

 

“The secret to a happy marriage is if you can be at peace with someone with four walls, if you are content because the one you love is near to you, either upstairs or downstairs, or in the same room, and you feel that warmth that you do not find very often, then that is what love is all about.”

– Bruce Forsyth

How To Save My Marriage

How To Save My Marriage From Divorce: How to save my marriage? What could I do to revive our relationship? How can I bring back joy and happiness in my married life? Is there any miracle that could end all pain and sufferings from my marriage? – If you are also one of those couples who are trying hard to save their marriages, and looking for the answers to these questions, this article is only for you.

Every great relationship goes through a rough patch once in a lifetime. And it’s the duty of every couple that they make every effort to restore their relationship. After all, marriage is a spiritual communion! Whatever your issues may be, a marriage should be saved at all costs. Never break up a marriage because of disagreements.

Rather find a way to settle your differences. The earlier you begin to solve the issues, the earlier your marriage will be restored to its peaceful state. Relationship experts or Marriage counselor says if couples seek to sort out relationship problems in the early phase, most marriages can be saved.

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How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

Yes, it’s true that every couple’s situation and circumstances are different but remember there is always a solution for the underlying problem if you are determined to solve it. A successful and happy marriage needs hard work, care, and patience. It is the responsibility of every partner that they invest their time and energy to make marriage a blissful and divine relationship.

A wonderful Marriage is a plant of slow growth which requires a lifelong commitment, sacrifice, and mutual cooperation. So couples should dedicatedly work towards saving their marriages. Sometimes couples feel like they have given their relationship all they have, but now they can no longer cope with their partner.

In that situation, divorce seems perhaps the best option. But wait, before you take the extreme decision. Do not reach too early to the conclusion that it’s time to end your marriage, especially if there’s a chance to rebuild a troubled and loveless marriage.

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Powerful Tips To Save A Marriage When Divorce Seems Inevitable

No one gets married with the intention of getting a divorce. However, the stark reality is that approximately 50% of marriages end up in divorce in the United States. Knowing the top tips to save a disturbed relationship people can understand how can they save a marriage that is advancing towards an inevitable divorce day by day. We hope the following 16 tips will prove a glimmer of hope for all desperate couples.

1. Identify The Reasons Behind All of Your Disagreements

To save your troubled married life, first, it must be identified what are the issues between you and your spouse. Usually, couples may feel stressed out due to several reasons, such as work, domestic chores, kids, their education, past life, and more. Make efforts to identify the root of frustrations and overcome them instead of blaming your spouse.

Sit quietly and think deeply about what you dislike about your spouse and what your spouse dislikes about you. If communication is not thwarted yet, invite your partner to discuss the grave matters that jeopardize your relationship. But if your partner is not interested in all this exercise, go alone.

Prepare a list of possible issues which enlist the most controversial matters at the very top and less problematic issues in the lower order. Tackle those issues one by one in order of their priority. To solve some issues you may need the help of your spouse. If he/she is not supportive, you could take the help of a common friend or a counselor.

2. Trust The Bond. Do Not Give Up Too Soon

Remember the forgotten marriage vows. Remember the day on which you took a vow to stay together with your spouse for an entire lifetime. Before you think of walking out, ask yourself this question – why have you been in this relationship for so long? Some people may ask why it’s so important to ask this question. Because, this way, you will know if there is still love between you despite all the clashes or misunderstandings.

Trust the bond. Every marriage goes through a problem. It is usual and there isn’t anything extraordinary about it. Do not give up too soon. Every cloud has a silver lining. Make every effort to save your marriage. Remember, It’s always better to resolve the issue and be together, instead of walking out of the marriage.

3. Make An Effective Plan of Action

Okay, you want to save your marriage but remember that nothing can be done just by blaming, begging, or crying. If you want to take things into your control before it’s too late, you have to act now. Prepare an effective plan of action that clearly states how you will handle all the principal issues. Focus on the burgeoning problems, but only with an intention to find a feasible solution.

Remember, saving a slowly dying marriage could sometimes appear an uphill task. But do not be discouraged, even if your partner shows no signs of improvement in the initial stages. Work on steadily and try to discover what really works out. Seek advice from family members, friends, or experts, if needed.

4. Introspect Yourself First

Before you proceed to tackle your marital issues one by one according to the list, first you need to introspect yourself honestly and deeply. But why? Because, if the problems in your married life have emerged because of you, surely it’s your responsibility to find out the appropriate solutions to alleviate them. You have to change your personality and schedule in order to get rid of the shortcomings that give rise to clashes every now and then.

Often it’s been observed that our own personality is home to bad personality traits but we expect that other people would ignore our faults and do accordingly what we want. It’s a highly unacceptable thing. It only shows that neither we know about our faults nor we want to get rid of them.

That’s why it’s is essential to observe yourself with utter honesty. Throw away every fault and weakness with your might that has become an impediment to living a happy married life. Because unless you are not freed from your own faults, it’s not a good thing to blame your spouse for a troubled relationship.

 

How To Save Your Troubled Marriage When Only One Is Trying

5. Address Crucial Issues Right Away In A Sensible Way

No marriage is easy. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to overcome their challenges and end up in courtrooms. That’s why it’s important to address key issues in your relationship early on. Don’t let them become one of the reasons for divorce. Don’t wait until they are beyond fixing. Try your very best before you decide that things are beyond your control.

Some issues like infidelity, financial troubles, and addiction are serious and damaging but they are not beyond repair if both spouses agree to try. Address those crucial issues in a sensible way that are bothering you or pushing your marriage to the edge. Talk to your partner about these affairs and the steps you can take to control them.

Yes, sometimes you may experience a helpless, frustrating feeling that consumes your mind and ravages your heart. But don’t give up too early. Continue your efforts. Remember, it’s always better to do something today than to regret it tomorrow.

6. Accept Your Spouse & Forget The Flaws

You got married to a person you absolutely fell in love with in every way. You decided to spend the rest of your lives together and you had an amazing family but somehow, it fell apart. Maybe because as time passes by you have come across the faults in the personality of your own spouse or perhaps because you do not like his/her certain weaknesses or habits. But please note that no human being is free from faults.

To break off all the relations with your partner just because of for few faults is not a praiseworthy thing at all. Like it or not, if you have been married for any amount of time, the person you are now is not the person you were back then. The same goes for your spouse. So overlook faults, differences of opinions, and interests.

Accept your partner with his/her personality traits and try to forget the little flaws. Remember, Differences are not a major problem as long as the differences are not about life values and morals. Incompatibility doesn’t kill a relationship. The real issue is how you handle your differences.

7. Love And Appreciate Your Life Partner

Love is not all about physical intimacy. It is a deep feeling that is largely related to emotional closeness, trust, respect, and sacrifice in a relationship. Love is a glue that holds couples together, and if intimacy fades, it might be acted out in the bedroom. Not feeling connected to your partner can quickly ruin a marriage because it leaves couples feeling as though they’re living with a stranger or more like roommates than spouses.

Remember, A wonderful relationship is built on love and support. Putting your spouse’s happiness above your own in life matters a lot as sacrifice is the other name of love. It will never go unnoticed. Like love, appreciation also plays a vital role in a happy married life. Every person likes to be appreciated and treated with respect and kindness and it’s especially true for women.

8. Stop Hurting Your Spouse

Physical or emotional abuse is a sad reality for many couples and contributes to thousands of divorces all over the world. Abuse in any kind or form is the catalyst for conflict in a marriage. Emotional abuse significantly affects the victim’s confidence and self-esteem. There is no room in a marriage for emotional abuse and most often it opens the gate to physical abuse.

Although it leaves no physical scars, emotional abuse leaves deep scars that are hard to heal and will lead to a divorce. Never hurt your spouse for any reason. No person has a right to make his/her spouse feel useless and worthless in a marriage. Your partner is not a slave to your needs. If you don’t like something in him/her, talk about it openly with an intention to get a solution but never ever hurt your better half.

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What Can You Do To Save A Marriage That Is Going To Fail

9. Revive The Communication With Your Spouse

Poor communication is one of the biggest reasons for most divorces. Communication is crucial in marriage and not being able to communicate effectively quickly leads to resentment and frustration for both. On the other hand, good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. When two people are sharing a life together, they must be able to talk about what they need and be able to understand and try to meet the needs of their partner.

Yelling at your spouse, making nasty comments about his/her persona, and not talking enough for several days are all examples of poor communication that need to be ditched in a marriage. When couples stop talking to each other, they can feel isolated and lonely and stop caring about one another altogether. So, revive the communication in your marriage as early as possible. It will surely help you.

One of the most important points about communication in any marriage is that it has to carry on post ‘honeymoon-moon’ period. When communication reduces gradually over time, the marriage starts to get difficult and one partner can feel ignored or taken for granted. In the long run, it severely impacts your sex life and finally leads to the breakdown of the relationship.

10. Practice Forbearance, Honesty, & Patience

Whether you accept it or not but it is true that are becoming more aggressive, more dishonest, and more impatient as we are advancing forward with time. Earlier, we were a society known for our compassion and forgiveness. But now it seems that we have forgotten all the values that our ancestors had left in a rich legacy. Patience, honesty, and forbearance serve as the foundation of a great relationship.

Apart from it, they allow the wounded spouse the time necessary to heal without undue pressure. Honesty allows you to feel close to your spouse and build a strong, trusting relationship. While Forbearance allows you to forgive and persevere. And Patience, kindness, and gentleness sweeten your relationship. These virtues encourage growth and add depth to relationships that cannot be replicated.

11. Get Rid of Your Bad Habits Soon

Do not want to lose the love of your life? Break your bad habits. Bad habits interrupt your life and prevent you from accomplishing your relationship goals. They jeopardize your mental and physical health and waste your time and energy. Bad habits like nagging, constantly seeking reassurance, distrusting or spying on your partner, or complaining about your partner to other people can slowly erode any marriage.

Apart from these issues, bad habits like excessive liquor consumption, too much smoking, and drug addiction are a big no-no in any serious relationship. In the longer run, they severely affect your mental health and self-confidence. So avoid all those bad habits that could harm a happy relationship. The best ways to break a bad habit are by identifying your triggers, altering your environment, or finding an accountability partner.

12. Be Willing To Forgive

Being able to forgive and to let go of past hurts is a critical tool in marriage. Additionally, being able to forgive is a way to keep yourself healthy both emotionally and physically. Recent studies have shown that forgiveness is an essential component of successful romantic relationships. Forgiveness can help you feel more satisfied in your relationship, sustain your relationship through hard times, and help your relationship function better.

Forgiveness creates room for care, happiness, and hope, and reduces depression in marriage. It allows your spouse to speak freely of their problems and pain. When we forgive one another, we extend sacrificial love. When we are forgiven, we are humbled and determined to love our spouses better going. In fact, forgiving and letting go may be one of the most important ways to keep you and your marriage going strong.

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How To Save My Marriage When There Is No Hope At All

13. Show Commitment By Taking Responsibilities

What is the meaning of a relationship if it is devoid of commitments? And the best way to show that you are committed to a relationship is to play an active role in fulfilling assigned responsibilities. Commitment takes more than loving feelings to have a healthy relationship. A committed relationship occurs when a couple agrees upon a certain level of commitment to one another.

Commitment means you will keep on treating your partner with respect, even if you are upset or angry. Commitment also means that you promise to support your partner now and in the future. Taking ownership and accepting responsibilities in a relationship not only enhances trust, love, and loyalty but they make your bond unbreakable also.

But what are the responsibilities of being in a relationship? There are many but few of them are as follows – To compromise when needed without compromising yourself, To communicate clearly and honestly, To determine your limits and values, To respect the limits and values of others, To give your spouse space to be their own person, To disagree agreeably, To work together to resolve conflicts and To help your partner when He/She needs it.

14. Take The Time To Have Fun Together

Life may seem like a never-ending marathon to most people in this world. And it’s especially true for working couples who set their material goals too high. Yes, work is essential to make a living and to justify your life but you also have to remember that life is not just limited to the career-growth. If the stream of joy disrupts in it, life will become burdensome and miserable in no time.

Do you know why people unite themselves in any serious relationship? So that their lives never become devoid of joy and merriment. That’s why it’s important to spend some time with your spouse, just the two of you. The more time you could get for your partner, the better it would be for both of you.

Talk about your feelings and life. Here are some ways you can have more fun in your relationship – Play together, date each other again, go for a vacation, make your spouse your workout buddy, and find new adventures as a couple that will rebuild your relationship.

15. Stay Away From Negative People

Always stay away from negative people, especially those who speak ill of your spouse every now and then without any solid reason. Wherever possible, just avoid their company because they will destroy your peace of mind. Keep them at an arm’s length. Negative people are not only negative, they’re also great at discouraging you, and giving you negative feedback. They are so good at it they can easily persuade you to believe what they say.

Negative people have a problem with every solution. Don’t waste your time on people who have nothing to give except problems, pain, lies, and allegations. If you surround yourself with negative nasty naysayers, then you may not realize it but other people in your life will judge you by people that you associate with. If you hang around negative, small-minded people, it makes you look negative and small-minded yourself.

16. Ask For Professional Help

You have done everything you could do to save your marriage – from following the advice of relatives to applying the tips mentioned in the books written by relationship experts, but nothing worked out. If you think there is no hope to save your relationship now, don’t lose your heart. There’s one last option you must try and it’s marriage counseling.

Because sometimes the most effective option is to see a licensed professional who can work with you and your spouse to address specific issues. Marriage counseling is a psychotherapy that helps couples in a marriage to identify the problems in their relationship, resolve their conflicts, and improve their relationship.

Often, marriage counseling is a short-term therapy involving both partners. At times, just one partner works with the therapist to improve the relationship. Marriage counseling can help couples at various stages of their relationship, such as premarital, post-marriage, family planning, and when kids are growing. To know more about it read “Ultimate Guide About Marriage Counseling.”

Final Words on How To Save Your Marriage

Make every effort to save your marriage. Whatever issue your marriage is facing, it did not occur overnight. You can’t lose it over such minor problems that you can solve in so many different ways that do not necessarily meet 100% of your expectations. No matter the situation, there are a lot of couples who saved their marriage from the direst of circumstances.

If you care about saving your marriage, the smart thing to do is to try and head off trouble before it begins. To lead a healthy life it is necessary to learn that for each decision you make you will always lose something and renouncing some ideas is crucial for living a married life. Maintain the balance, you will live in peace.

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“Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and wife.”

– Dave Willis

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